If there is one thing about me that most will agree, it is that I am full of pride. I am a very prideful person. But I'm not one to show it off, spread it around, or be smug about it. I learned many years ago that pride makes us a very ugly person.
Pride was what kept me from just letting it go and giving it up to God. I fought with God for years to not give up anything to Him. I was arrogant enough to believe that I didn't need God to survive in that horrible world I lived in. But even after I soon realized I needed God, I still wouldn't give in. I can compare it to the same as not admitting you're wrong in an argument even though you have been proven wrong. You still won't say it.
I've stood before God and swore my faith, loyalty, soul and heart to Him. But I wouldn't admit I needed Him or give Him complete control. I would pray to Him and ask for help when I thought I needed it, but wouldn't submit completely to Him. I still wanted to do things my way and have the freedom to do as I wanted without having to feel guilty about it.
We all have vices in our lives - those things that control what and who we are that prevent us from giving it up to God. Our vices have more control over what we do more than anything else in our lives. And when those vices keep us away from the only one who won't turn on us, ignore us, turn their back on us, or make us suffer for what we have done; those vices will cause us to suffer alone until we make that decision to finally let Him have control and we follow Him. It comes down to knowing that we need to do it, and then just doing it. I know it sounds almost too simple of an answer and maybe even sounds like a cop-out answer. But it's the truth.
James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
If you can look at yourself in the mirror and say that you have done everything you can, yet still haven't given it up to God, you are not even close. Look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself you cannot do this alone and you need His help. It's a matter of waking each day and renewing that commitment to Him in letting Him do what He needs to. Every time you feel as though you are losing that focus on God, stop and commit. Keep moving towards Him in all circumstances. Make Him the focus on who, what, where and how. It's when you begin to make it all about God and stop making it about you, it is then that God does make it about you.
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