My Split Spiritual Personality

I know who I am.  No I don't.  Yes I do.  No I don't.  Ok, I am a good Christian and I go to church every Sunday and go to bible study every week.  I pray, sing, worship, and help at most church functions.  But why am I not that same person any other time?  My split spiritual personality wears me out.

As foolish as it is to think we can fool, not only fellow Christians, but God, we must be completely stupid.  You can’t hide from God.  Luke 8:16-18 says "No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.  For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light.  So take care how you listen; for whoever has, to him more shall be given; and whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has shall be taken away from him.”  There is nothing that God cannot see nor hear.  We may attempt to hide all that is sinful in our hearts and minds, but God sees and knows.

Hebrews 4:12  "For the word of God is alive and active.  Sharper than double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing spirit and soul, joints and marrow:  it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

We sometimes fool ourselves into thinking what we do is good and right by God.  We carry on with a false sense of pride that God approves of our maniacal way of split spiritual personalities.  One spiritual life for God on Sundays and one of our own delusional (every other time) god.  But we are certainly not going to fool God.

When we sit in church and act the good Christian we lie to ourselves that we are doing the right thing.  When it comes time to walk out the door and drive home we become that one person whom we really are.  You know who I am talking about, right?  It's that someone who yells (or sometimes swears) at the car in front of us for not moving fast enough after the light turns green.  It's that one who goes home and treats your spouse with disrespect or abuses them.  It's that person who goes home and does not show your family the love you should have for them.  We are who we are and one day a week in church does not cut it.  We are also carrying around an incredible amount of arrogance thinking those around us are fooled as well.   But our fallacy in attempting to live two lives might as well be on a billboard.  You can’t fool anyone.  Our transparency is obvious and the more we try to hide the things we are most ashamed of, the more obvious we are.  That’s not to say we are, or should be perfect.  We never will.  But make the attempt to live a Godly life, and be sincere about it.  If we accept the pardon that God offers us, we accept a gift that is not earned, but given freely and of His love and compassion.  There is no need to try and be someone other than who we are.  Because it is who God wants us to be.  We need to be reverent in our efforts to be Godly Christians and follow Him.

What we need to do is hang a mirror in front of us all the time so we can see ourselves and look ourselves in the eye so we are forced to answer to the one and only person that it makes a difference to.  Answering to ourselves makes us truly look inside and take a look at the real you.  Sometimes we come to a point where a light is turned on and we then see what and who we are.  But we are so blinded by the glare that we want to turn off the light.  We can't turn off that light.  Leave it on and even turn it up even brighter.  Let God help you to understand where you are and where you need to go.  Let go and let God.

Of course, how do we know what God wants?  Do you really need to ask that?  We know what we need to do.  We know who we need to be.  We just don't want to do it.  So we make excuses that we don't understand anything and it gives us a reason to go on being the same old split spiritual personality we were.

Living a Godly life means living an honest life.  And it doesn't mean being honest with others so much, but honest with ourselves.  We cannot fool ourselves and we know when we are not being that christian we should be.  We know when we are doing something we should not be doing.  We know when we are saying things and thinking things we shouldn't.  So it is then we need to step back and take a different look at where we are and where we need to be.  I've said it before and I will continue to say it, our pride is one of the biggest obstacles in our way.  Our pride stops us from accepting that we are full of fallacies and imperfect.  Our pride refuses to let God do what He needs to do in us.  Let go and let God.

So to kind of bring this whole thing to a close I want to say that even though we seem to want to run things our own way and do things when we want to, God is still working in us.  We need to open that door just a little bit more and let Him in.  Give God a chance to really do what He needs to.  Stop having that split spiritual personality and start living a Godly life.

2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has given us everything we need for a Godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness."
Deuteronomy 6:4-6  "The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  5. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  6. These commandments I give you today are to be on your hearts."
Matthew 4:4  "Man shall not live on bread alone,  but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."