I had a friend read my book and I asked them what they thought. I was told that as they read the book they could not help but think of how different I am to the person they are reading about.
My first thought was, "Duh!". But then I got to thinking. This goes along with my thoughts in the book about what people think of me before and then after they read the book. Does it change their perception of me and or who I am to them? Do they think less of me or have more respect? Am I perceived as a victim to them? Am I going down that road again of being a victim even so long after the fact?
This was one of my points in the book about being a victim. We don't stop being victims. We are victimized all the time. Even if it is something as simple as hearing a song or smelling something that brings back those memories, we are victimized again. Now, don't read into this wrong and start giving me grief about the "poor me" thing. Not at all. I'm saying we live our lives always having something remind us of where we came from. Thus the title of the book.
I spent some time talking with a great friend about coping and dealing with reminders. It seems we all, as victims, experience much of the same thing and have many of the same triggers, reminders, and anxieties. When I began reading her book, I suddenly found myself reliving much of what I did. I was stunned at the similarities of the stories and experiences. Not to the mention the things that went on in our heads were all the same. Regardless of the type of abuse, we all suffer the same things in our heads.
Getting back to the perception thing: I asked my friend if she thought differently of me. She said absolutely not. But my next question left her thinking for a minute and I knew she was looking for the right answer and maybe not the honest answer. But, I asked her if when she sees me now, does it make her think of certain things she read about that happened to me and will she now always be thinking about that when she does see me? See, perception of who we are is determined by what people not only see, but in my case, what they now read. Forever I will be looked at differently whether it be good or bad.
You can ask and see where we came from, but always perceive us by how we got to where we are. I will always say that it's not what put you where you were, but what you did to get where you are now. It's how you make the journey that defines who you are, not where you started.
My first thought was, "Duh!". But then I got to thinking. This goes along with my thoughts in the book about what people think of me before and then after they read the book. Does it change their perception of me and or who I am to them? Do they think less of me or have more respect? Am I perceived as a victim to them? Am I going down that road again of being a victim even so long after the fact?
This was one of my points in the book about being a victim. We don't stop being victims. We are victimized all the time. Even if it is something as simple as hearing a song or smelling something that brings back those memories, we are victimized again. Now, don't read into this wrong and start giving me grief about the "poor me" thing. Not at all. I'm saying we live our lives always having something remind us of where we came from. Thus the title of the book.
I spent some time talking with a great friend about coping and dealing with reminders. It seems we all, as victims, experience much of the same thing and have many of the same triggers, reminders, and anxieties. When I began reading her book, I suddenly found myself reliving much of what I did. I was stunned at the similarities of the stories and experiences. Not to the mention the things that went on in our heads were all the same. Regardless of the type of abuse, we all suffer the same things in our heads.
Getting back to the perception thing: I asked my friend if she thought differently of me. She said absolutely not. But my next question left her thinking for a minute and I knew she was looking for the right answer and maybe not the honest answer. But, I asked her if when she sees me now, does it make her think of certain things she read about that happened to me and will she now always be thinking about that when she does see me? See, perception of who we are is determined by what people not only see, but in my case, what they now read. Forever I will be looked at differently whether it be good or bad.
You can ask and see where we came from, but always perceive us by how we got to where we are. I will always say that it's not what put you where you were, but what you did to get where you are now. It's how you make the journey that defines who you are, not where you started.
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